Potato Carvers 3: The Carvening: Hyper Power Max Edition

You wake up in an unremarkable hovel. But it's made out of a potato. Potato floors, potato ceilings, potato sofas, potato dishware. Oddly enough, the toilet is made of carrots. There is a potato in front of you. Looks like it's that [[time|that time again]] again.

[[POTATO TIME|Carve]]

Carve that potato! [[Slice]] [[Dice]] [[MICE!]]

Twice? [[Yes|Thrice]] [[No]] [[Not the mice!|MICE!]]

Twice? [[Yes|Thrice]] [[No]] [[AGHH! MOAR MICE|MICE!]]

Those mice are filthy. Get ride of them or they will consume all potato life as we know it! [[Make an elaborate potato trap]] [[Sing them the song of your people]] [[Too much work. Back to the Carvening!|Back to work]]

You spend hours, days, years carving the perfect trap. Only when you finish do you realize your mistake: the potato you were supposed to be carving has spoiled! You decide the only honorable thing to do is to throw yourself into your car, which is currently exploding due to the potato in its tailpipe. What fortunate timing. You sink into a sea of starch....[[See where the starch takes you|Start]]

"Oh, potatoes and molasses If you want some, oh, just ask us They're warm and soft like puppies in socks Filled with cream and candy rocks Oh, potatoes and molasses They're so much sweeter than algebra classes If your stomach is grumblin' and your mouth starts a-mumblin' There is only one thing to keep your brain from crumblin' Oh, potatoes and molasses" [[Keep singing]] [[The mice have been tortured enough. Back to work.|Back to work]]

[[Slice]] [[Dice]]

As you sing, the mice slowly grow old and die. That's the power of starch; turns out it's not just good for stiff shirts. [[Back to work]]

Enough. After all, you are a potato carvener, not a soup man. What have you made with your knife life? [[A wife|wife]] [[A life|baby]] [[One scythe|scythe]]

Her beauty is indescribable. Unatainable. Unfathomable. 8/10 dentists would agree she is suuuuuuper [[hot]].

You start trying to carve a baby, but your sub-conscious decides that is too weird and takes over. Instead you end up carving a plant. A boring household plant. It's a philodendron; very dull, but it will go nicely in the corner of your potato hovel.

You carve a perfect miniature replica of a scythe. Wow you are boring. Why didn't you just become a blacksmith if all you are going to make is medieval farming implements. How quaint.

Wait, hot? OH NO, SHE'S BAKING! You foolish fool, she looked so good you started cooking her without realizing it. Oh the horror! Oh the shame! How did those bacon bits and freshly cut onions even get there? [[Try to save her|save]] [[Hum as you make sure she is thoroughly baked|bake]] [[Whoa, where is this even going? Eeesh,I should have picked one of those other options|others]]

You quickly pull her out of the fire. She is very happy with you and marries you (again?) and you both live happy potato lives happily ever potato.

As the carving you thought was a wife but never was cooks in the oven that has never been, you think to yourself how glad you are that you never made a surreal game about potato carving.

Sure is a good thing you picked one of those other options. That whole thing about carving a wife was weird and a bit sad. So what DID you make then? [[A life|baby]] [[One scythe|scythe]]

How [[thorough|No]].